The Jeremy Lin of the Squared Circle
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- Category: Idiot Box
- Created on Saturday, 25 February 2012 19:56
- Written by Romeo Moran
- Hits: 745
Admit it: when you first heard that Randy Orton was being replaced in the SmackDown Elimination Chamber by, of all people, Santino Marella, you got pissed. If you’re one to overreact, maybe you threw up a little. Like everyone else who has dabbled in a bit of fantasy booking, and that’s almost every other wrestling fan, you made a prediction that Santino would get taken out of the match before it even begun, following the precedent Edge set when he unceremoniously laid out Kofi Kingston in the 2009 RAW chamber to take his spot.
And then, when that didn’t happen, admit that you expected Santino to be eliminated second, because you never thought Khali was going to amount to much, even though he was the biggest man in the match. You expected that Santino would just come in, clean house for a bit like he’s always booked to on television, do his usual comedy spots, and finally unleash the Cobra. He’d have his moment, maybe let the Cobra strike once, and then one of the other, more serious opponents would have his way with him. After his 15 seconds of fame, he’d be on his merry way, back to midcard oblivion. And nobody would care.
Now, admit it: you were wrong. I know I was, and I did.
Elimination Chamber 2012: Official GeekOut Review
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- Category: Idiot Box
- Created on Monday, 20 February 2012 22:44
- Written by Romeo Moran
- Hits: 737
If last month’s Royal Rumble PPV was an exercise in setting up high expectations and failing to deliver, the lesson everyone can learn from last Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV is best summed up in three words: timing is everything. There’s a secondary lesson in there as well, borrowed and paraphrased from gridiron football parlance: anyone can be a star on any given Sunday. But we’ll get to that a little later.
Much like the Rumble show, this PPV only had four advertised matches on the card. The Rumble suffered greatly due to the ungodly amount of filler – two inconsequential matches and many rolls of film’s worth of video packages about the upcoming John Cena vs. the Rock match at Wrestlemania 28 – that filled the gaps between its own four advertised matches. However, I’m glad to say that not only did Elimination Chamber see less filler (even though, like always, the filler’s fillerness could have been avoided), but around half of that material somehow didn’t feel like filler. Whenever that happens, that means most things had a purpose, and purpose is always, always good.
Read more: Elimination Chamber 2012: Official GeekOut Review
Recap: WWFX Champions Showcase Tour 2012
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- Category: Idiot Box
- Created on Sunday, 05 February 2012 12:26
- Written by Coco Collantes
- Hits: 960
I, together with GeekOut fuhrer Bim, trekked to the Smart Araneta Coliseum last night to watch the World Wrestling Fan Xperience Champions Showcase Tour 2012 show because, even though we're nearing our 30s, we still enjoy watching greasy men in shiny briefs pretend to fight each other.
Anyway, the show, which was supposed to start at 7:30 PM, was delayed by an hour. The arena was barely filled, I'm estimating maybe only 3 or 4 thousand people showed up. It was also during this waiting period that I saw the best move of the night: After getting some DQ Blizzards, we made our way back to our seats and Bim boosted himself with one leg off a rail to hop over a seated old lady who was in our way. Parkour!
At around 8:30, Colt Cabana finally makes his way down the ramp with a throng of hot ladies and apparently he'll be our ring announcer for the evening. He's looking more and more like Chris Penn these days. He welcomes Manila to "WWFWF.. XW.. Uh.. WWFX Champions Showcase Tour 2012!" This marks the first of four times that he fucks this up, which was really funny. But he did a really good job throughout. He introduces "Senior Referee" Rudy Charles and they hand out some backstage passes to a few lucky spectators right by ringside. This then brings us to the first match of the night.
Official Geek Out PPV Review: Royal Rumble 2012
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- Category: Idiot Box
- Created on Tuesday, 31 January 2012 00:38
- Written by Romeo Moran
- Hits: 588
The 25th Royal Rumble, while ultimately proving itself to be entertaining above all, was an exercise in mismanagement and disappointment.
It was never going to stay afloat with just four advertised matches; the WWE has already conditioned the observant viewer (which is to say, a lot of internet fans) to always expect one or two more to be crafted seemingly from thin air. Sometimes, they deliver (i.e. 6-man Tag Match back at Summerslam, Air Boom vs. Primo & Epico for the Tag titles and Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T back at TLC), and sometimes, they don’t. This was one of those underwhelming shows, and that egregiousness is amplified due to the Royal Rumble being one of the most important events in the WWE season.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves – this is a show review, and we must begin at the beginning.
Rumblings
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- Category: Idiot Box
- Created on Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:32
- Written by Romeo Moran
- Hits: 765
The Royal Rumble has always been the quickest, most convenient bildungsroman the WWE has at its disposal. Formulaic and self-contained, it can easily make a new star in an hour or so, providing that essential next step one up-and-comer might need in order to establish himself in the upper echelon. Just ask guys like Shawn Michaels, Batista, and Rey Mysterio (whether you like him or not) – examine what their Rumble wins have done to their careers, and you’ll see that it is their achievement of mercilessly dispatching 29 other men which was mainly responsible for propelling them into the main event, in their respective times.
And the Royal Rumble may arguably have the distinction of being the only event that could consistently excite people on a yearly basis. Wrestlemania may be the biggest event of a WWE year, but even its excitement factor will rise and fall depending on who and what is on the card. Meanwhile, the Rumble – the biggest behemoth of a match in the WWE year, never mind your Hell in a Cells and Elimination Chambers - has never lost its novelty, even outlasting the aforementioned Cell and Chamber matches. People look forward to it, because unlike Hell in a Cell, the Rumble is highly adaptable and never specific, until it comes to the last man standing. Unlike an Elimination Chamber or Money in the Bank match, almost everyone is involved, and one can sincerely say that anyone and everyone have an equally legitimate chance of winning. (This time, you can ask Santino.)
Get fed!